Lessons

Never ask a mechanic “what are you trying to fix?”

Never wake up a parent after they have just eaten an apple

Never put a screwdriver in your back pocket and sit in the car

Do it right the first time

A 1963 Austin Healy is one hot car


How to hold a cup of coffee while riding in an Austin Healy

When someone says hold on, you better hold on

Always wear a helmet while riding motorcycles

It’s a thin line between a hero and an asshole

Never pass up a chance for a practical joke

You control the car, don’t let the car control you

All squeaks in a car will be killed

It’s ok to ask for a straw when eating oysters

If a cat crawls up under the car never use two people to get it out

Always leave people asking themselves "did that really happen ?"

Have respect for everyone and their property

If you borrow something, return it in better condition than it was in


Cats don’t like to parachute from the top of the barn


Never put a clothes pin on a cat's tail
 

It's not a blinker, it's a turn signal


Willie Nelson is cool


Respect everyone except for the purposely stupid or arrogant


Ponies can never be trusted


Cockroaches are Satan in bug form


If a junebug gets in your ear, hold a flashlight up to your ear canal and the bug will painfully claw his way out, but hey....he's out


It's "Hey!" NOT "Hay!"


Texas is a state of mind as is New Orleans


Oysters are fantastic!


How to shoot the legs off of a wasp with a pellet gun


How to get the wasp to be still long enough to shoot his legs off


Never strike a match near a haystack that your grandfather is standing on


If you have to share a bottle of soda with your brother, give him the top half, the bottom half has more


Road trips are a blast


Oreos and beer do not mix well digestively


Escargot feels like a cat's tongue


Never speak when a parent is on the phone, or breathe for that matter


You can set a house on fire by trying to make a hot air balloon with a blow torch and a black trash bag


You're only as good as your dog thinks you are


Fishing is not as much about catching as it is about catching up


Modulators always should be put on the head and tail lights of a motorcycle


A rolled up magazine works well as a splint in an emergency


Family is defined by those you love, not by blood


Cat hair sticks to your tongue


My dad did not like cats and liked messing with the kids


You can make a toy out of anything


Never ask a horse, "Why such a long face?"


So I said to this emu......


How to change the oil in my car


That he loved me


Learn to judge your parents' moods


Don't listen when he tells you to pinch your naked aunt


You can be more scary and unsettling by being quiet than by screaming


A great punishment will give the parents a weed-free yard


A good parent will listen


If you ever put a cat in a bag, don't let go


Do, don't try


That he loved my grandson enough to trade his life for Josiah's


And that we loved him more than he ever knew.

Compiled from lists from his kids.