Not So Cool Anymore

The adventures of a wandering son. Here's the first part.

Cole called me today. "Mom, how do I get an epi-pen?"

Oh this was not going to be a good conversation. We found out Cole was severely allergic to bees when he was in first grade. The school had called. He had been stung by a honey bee and his face had begun to swell. By the time I got to the school, which was across the street, he was going into shock. We raced him to the doctor's office and they whisked him away. I wasn't aware of it at the time, but my son was dying. His system was shutting down from the allergic reaction. He hasn't been without his trusted epi-pen since. If he gets stung again he removes the stopper from the vial and jabs the pen on to his thigh. The pressure releases the needle and epinephrine is released into his system giving us enough time to get him to a hospital.

"Cole, you have to have a prescription for one. You need to go the doctor and ask for one before you go."

He informed me that he thought that was stupid and that he had an old one he could take. I'm imagining this fast-food encased, gunk covered, shattered epi-pen. Ok so now I'm going to get hives.

"Oh, and by the way, our plans have changed."

Stay calm, I tried to remind myself. Oh this isn't sounding good. My mom instincts are telling me to sit down and hold on to something, anything, it's gonna be a bumpy phone call.

"We're hitchhiking to Vegas instead!"

I was right, it's gonna get worse before it gets better. Seems Smart Boy and his sidekick, Brilliant Kid, are leaving tomorrow. Hitchhiking to Vegas. Through the desert, Death Valley to be exact. My suburban raised son and his friend in the desert with desert creatures like rattlesnakes and scorpions scares more than just a little bit. This is a kid that stole acorns from a wild squirrel, and was attacked by one pissed off nut-less animal.

Then he tells me the best part. When they leave Vegas, they're going to go "up through Arizona.” Just like that train he thought was going to California he had once jumped that was actually gong to Montana. Oh Good God! I think I did a pretty good job at remaining calm, partly because I couldn't speak and partly because he's going to do it anyway. This way, he'll call me when, if, there's a problem. He did agree to call me at every major town and then he left me with the spine-chilling phrase "that way you can call the police if we don't call when we should.” Great thing to tell a mom, especially one that fights anxiety under the best of circumstances.

On one hand, I am excited for him. It'll be an incredible once-in-a-lifetime experience. On the other hand I have this feeling that I'll see him on a new Las Vegas episode of "COPS,” and I guess that would be a good thing compared to all the other dreadful things a mom's mind can conjure up.

He said he'll be gone for about 4 weeks. I hope I can last that long, and I hope he takes a camera.