Diva? Why Not Diva?

There's a girl I follow on Twitter that had a tweet come through that said, "you're NOT a Diva." So natch I had to read it. You know, with the paranoia that sometimes comes with bipolar, she HAD to be talking about me, right? After all, she does follow me too.

My, oh my. Girl is seriously pissed about people calling themselves "Diva." She states the word itself "annoys the shit," out of her and that she would love to "punch them in the throat," and "I sure as Hell won't take anyone seriously that calls themself a diva." Wow.

First of all "themself," is not a word. "Themselves," if you're wondering why I used that word in the last paragraph, is a word and is used when a compound subject has been used in the sentence to show that it refers to the same group.

Furthermore why is the mere word so annoying to someone? I guess it could be poor self esteem or envy maybe. Still can't figure that one out.

I kinda felt I had to defend myself, then I thought, "Would a Diva do that?" Hell no, she'd hire someone to do that. So I decided to pay a kid to transcribe this for me.

Fact is there are really a lot of reasons people may use that term. Mine is tongue and cheek. I mean, HELLO, I'm freaking CRAZY, how on earth could I be perfect? It's called an OXYMORON, ya know when you combine two contradictory terms? Kinda like "bipolar," and "Diva."

It's also a nickname I've had for years for trying to keep it together and look ok on the outside while I'm fighting this insidious disorder. Fact is I kind of act like it to cover for the insecurities in my life, over compensate I guess you can say.

I did write a post a while back comparing the two terms, "bipolar," and "Diva." I think it's pretty explanatory. Truth be told, the two terms do have a lot in common: grandiose ideas, spending, self absorption, etc. I think my psychiatrist would call those traits "psychosis."

I don't think a "real" Diva, whatever that is, would write a post basically telling the world what a failure she was. Yep, hand up. That was me.

Yes, I hide behind a lot of materialistic things, but I know why I hide. I hide because to look myself in the mirror and realize the hand I've been dealt, and passed on to my daughter, is a bit too much to handle most of the time.

But that's just it, I hide from myself. If you've read through my blog, even sporadically, you'll see I'm open and honest with the world about my short comings.

She has a right to her opinion, as we all do in this great nation of ours, but seriously, try to figure out if it's really just a play on words before condemning someone. 

Now, I'm off to have a bubble bath drawn for me and my pinky toe nail re-painted because I chipped it when I was trying on Louboutins this afternoon.

And before bed I'll down my hand full of anti psychotics with nice glass of Cristal that has been delivered to me in a crystal glass on a silver platter by the white gloved minions.