I Should Be Used To It

It took me by surprise today, after all it's been ten years. I should be used to the reality of the situation of a decade ago. I'm not.

I know much has been written about the horrendous day ten years previous that changed our lives forever. But for some reason I feel the need to write. I told myself I wouldn't put words to screen about the subject that has been brought back into the forefront by so many. But here I am. I'm writing, not for you really, but for me.

For some reason I continue to watch the unending coverage of the anniversary that is marked by so many events today. It's hit me as hard, if not harder than the original attack. After all ten years ago we were all in shock, in disbelief. We watched images that none of us could have ever imagined.

Today it's something that's become part of our culture, our everyday life. The threat, the possibility, the uncertainty is ever present.

I watch on TV as flags are unfurled. I again watch the pictures of  people jumping, falling from the targeted, towering structures, I watch the devastation again. And I cry. It seems as if everything today is magnified for me.

For the last ten years every flag I've seen has taken on a significance that I had never before felt. Oh, I've always been proud of our flag, I've always loved it, I've always respected it. But since September 11, 2001 it's taken on a different meaning for me. It's a symbol of the day we all came together, we put aside our differences and we joined hands. We became one. And I cry.

The national anthem has also become much more meaningful for me. It's no longer a song that was taught to me in fourth grade. It's the story, the reality of the beginning of our beautiful nation. I hear it and damn it if I don't cry as I take in the words and not just sing them. I actually hear them, I picture what Francis Scott Key must have seen, must have felt, the night of September 13, and in the early morning hours of September 14, 1814 during the attack on Fort McHenry. And I cry.

Today I also think of how we've forgotten that togetherness, that will, to fight the enemy together as Americans. Instead we bicker, we separate, we've once again become oil and water refusing to come together for a better America. We identify ourselves as liberals and conservatives and hate one another. And I cry.

Yes I have very staunch political beliefs, I'm sure you have yours and many times they're miles apart. Instead of working together we tear apart and the enemy rejoices. The enemy rejoices as we allow the togetherness we felt during that dreadful time fade away and we've once again focused on ourselves. No one wants to give, no one wants to work together to preserve our way of American life. It's once again a game of us versus them. And I cry.

We're doing the enemy's job ourselves. We're tearing our nation apart from within. We're allowing political warring to separate us as Americans.

I know I've gotten off track. The keys of the computer just seemed to have led me on a different path in this post. We need to work at building up our nation and not let the enemy once again rejoice.