It's Only a Car, It's Only a Rash and It's Only Water....Right?

When I opened my eyes this morning birds were singing and sunlight warmed my face. I stretched and turned so that I could watch as the tree tops danced in the breeze out side of my window. Nina saw that I was awake. She rolled over reaching her lanky curl covered legs straight up into the air before yawning and creeping her way across the bed to me. She nudged her wet, cold nose into the crease of my neck and positioned her long furry body next to mine. She lay with along side of me as I cleared the clouds from my head and mentally prepared for the day to come.

If I was able to predict the rest of a day by the way it began, I would have been certain that this one would be perfect in every way. Soon I would learn that my ability as an oracle should not be relied upon.

I felt great as I got ready for they gym. My workout was good. I increased both my cardio and my weights. I was tired but felt productive as I walked from the gym to the parking garage. I made my way up the three flights of stairs to the level where I had parked my car. The closer I got to my Mercedes the more clear it became. Someone had hit my car when I was in the gym. I could feel my blood pressure rising and and my teeth clenching. Dammit! Freaking Asshole! There was no way on this earth that what ever moron that hit my car could have been unaware of it. Oh I was beginning to feel sick. No note, no nothing. Son-of-a-bitch! Ok, so I needed to calm down. It's a car. It can be repaired. But dammit, I've hit cars before nothing big, but I've always left a note and how they could get ahold of me.

Ok, so I'll go call the insurance agent and get it repaired. I got home around 11:45 ish. Joshua was still in bed. Jeff freaked. I mean he absolutely came undone. No big deal, wake the kid up and tell him to get his butt out of bed. Well, yeah that would be great, in a normal family. Joshua pulled himself up, looking a bit like he had come right from the set of Night of the Living Dead. The kid is covered with a rash, not just a rash, but huge, red, raised welt looking things. and little bumps everywhere. When I say covered, I mean about 90% of his body, even his hairy butt. I did not need, or want, to see that but kid dropped his pants. So here he is covered with a mystery rash. My baby grandson is here, as is my pregnant daughter. Great, just freaking great. I told him to take a shower, wash his clothes and gave him some benadryl. He kept tryng to get close to me to show me more and I kept backing away. I don't want it. He has no fever, no runny nose, no watery eyes. I think we have him narrowed down to contact dermatitis or a viral infection. Oh mother of God, this day is NOT going well, I can see that now.

So I'm trying to get away from the splotchy kid when I hear screaming, not yelling, not shouting, but screaming coming from the laundry room. It's Jeff which means that there will be no calming of the situation, whatever it is. Dammit! Dammit! Dammit! Didn't take long to find out what had happened, Jeremiah was washing his clothes. Good, dirty little kid will at least be wearing clean clothes next week. From what I've been able to piece together from screaming, ranting and crying it seems that Jeremiah somehow got the door of the front loading washer to open in mid cycle. The laundry room was, in Jeff's words, "flooded" which most likely means there was a little water on the floor. So this child took all of the dripping wet clothes out of the still running washer and put them in the dryer in turn filling the dryer with water.

Jeff's freaking out, ranting and slamming doors. Joshua's creeping around trying to hold his breath so he doesn't spread his weird rash, Jeremiah's crying, and me? Well, I'm in my room. I've taken 2 xanex and I'm gonna chill away from the chaos.

Please, someone, come and get me!