The Green Cords

It began as most nights around here do. Jeff took off for bed, I took Martini out, grabbed my laptop, phone, various cords for my various electronics (I am SO my father's daughter), and a glass of iced tea.

When I got to the bedroom, Jeff was already sleeping. I got settled, I plugged in the phone, I measured out my meds, then plugged in the computer, and searched for, and found, the most coveted item....the remote.

I tossed the dog on the bed and she immediately dug her way under the blankets to snuggle up next to Jeff.

I wriggled out of my jeans and dropped them on the floor. I tried to undo the top, back button on my top and ending up turning myself in circles while doing so. Why do I buy such complicated clothing? Finally I got it undone and tossed it in the laundry basket, then climbed up and into bed.

I was opening the laptop when it started. I wasn't sure if he was talking to me, or just talking back to the TV.

I looked over and he was sound asleep. He was saying something about, "she buys things where ever we go. Just let her have it." Oh, I pounced on that one!

I went into it carefully, "Buy what?"

"The green cords, or whatever you want."

I kept watching to see if he was really asleep and I carefully asked a couple more questions, and he was definitely asleep.

"So you said I could buy anything?"

He kind of scrunched down into his pillow a bit and replied, "Yes, you can get the green cords."

"So, I can buy whatever I want?"

He wrinkled his nose, scratched it lightly, and mumbled, "Yes."

"So I can buy new lingerie?"

As soon as the words were out of my mouth, he opened his eyes, looked right at me, and firmly said, "Hell No! Do you think I'm an idiot?"

Damn! I pushed it too far! He was still looking at me when he said, "I said you could buy the green cords."

"What green cords were you talking about?"

"Hell if I know, I was dreaming."

"So no new lingerie?"

"No!"

I should have stopped asking questions when he simply said, "Yes."