I Don't Like Feeling I Have To Defend Myself

This isn't really me. This is not what I choose to write about, but I think it's needed, my button has been pushed. Usually I let things go and don't worry about what's being said around me or about me, but this time is different. It's affecting my husband, it's affecting my kids, as well as me, and, well, I'm a wee bit pissed.

There's trash talk being spread out there and it's time I addressed a few things. I think it's kind of funny, well, that may not be the right word, pathetic might be a better choice, what gets back to me via people that know people that read my blog and follow my personal Facebook page, as well as my fan page.

I'm very transparent, for the most part, there are a few things I don't let many people know, but pretty much what you read, what you see, is what you get. Mostly.

I'll never forget the woman at Starbucks. She has to be in her 70's and usually when I'm there...like every morning,....she sees me in "business" mode. Then there was the day I was there in my leathers, a leather halter, most of my back tattoo showing, and all my biker jewelry on, I was going to a photo shoot, and was totally in biker mode. 

Until recently, I've only had tattoos that could be hidden. So when she saw me in my "sub culture" persona, with most of my back tattoo showing, she was a bit taken. She lightly touched my shoulder and said, "Honey,  I've never seen this side of you." I really wasn't sure how to take it, but I realized then that I'm much more multidimensional than most people realize.

With my life in my blog, and my life on Facebook, almost everything can be pieced together, such as, being bipolar, loving my Harley, great shoes, expensive lingerie, and traveling with my husband, whether it be on our bikes, or in a plane. You all know I have 8 kids, was a foster parent, I've made good choices, and I've made bad choices.  I'm pretty truthful about it all. I really don't have anything to hide. If you ask me a question, I'll answer it, usually.

Some people may think I put too much out there, and that's fine, we're not all alike. I know I walk the line with a lot of things in my life, and bottom line is that it's my choice what I allow to get out. But what I've recently come to realize is that I am pretty cool. I treat people the way I want to be treated. I'm not a "talk smack behind your back" type of person. I'm friendly, outgoing, and sincere. I say "thank you" and "you're welcome." I open the door for people, I try to do my best to make another person's day a better one.

But, and this is a big BUT, things get back to me. I find it interesting what people say when they don't have the full picture of things in my life, they assume, they talk, and spread smack, and it does get back to me. Yes, I go on a lot of bike rides with my husband. I save all year for those rides. What they don't know is that I get distributions from my Dad's estate, or that I get oil checks. It's usually my money we spend, not what we make as business owners.

It's like my car.....Oh My God.....you would have thought the world came to an end when I bought my first Mercedes, and then my second Mercedes. What these people don't know is when my mom was killed, my dad begged me to take her Jaguar.. I paid off what was owed on it when I refinanced my house. So when I went to trade it, I had a TON of equity in it. I put all of that money down on the GL so I had a ton of equity in that car when I traded it for my E350. All these people see is that I got a new Mercedes, but they don't have the full story, and they make assumptions. 

I hear the same type of snippy comments about the ring I wear on my left hand. Yes, it's platinum, yes, it has nearly flawless diamonds in it, and yes, it was custom made. Most of the diamonds I had in other jewelry accumulated over the years, I bought the five center stones and the platinum. But what the back biters fail to realize is how I paid for the ring. I was in a motorcycle accident. I was very lucky I wasn't killed, my bike was totaled. I couldn't walk for five months, and I got a settlement, and with part of that settlement, I had my ring made. On my other hand is my mother's engagement ring. She gave me another ring that I gave to my sister in law because I love my brother, even though my mom and dad told me to be sure to take her all of her jewelry, keep it safe and one day give it to Karli. Hopefully one day it will be back where Mom wanted it, and if I know my brother and sister in law, it will be.

And I don't think they take into account that my husband works his ass off to make a living and to provide a living for the two incredible guys that work for us. I don't think they realize his job doesn't start at 7 and end at 5. He's up about 3:00 or 3:30 working on bids, plans or whatever may be on the agenda that week. They don't realize he works on the weekends, there is no time off for someone that's in business for themselves, especially my husband. He pretty much works 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. There are times we pay our employees and there's nothing left over. That's a risk we take, and it's a scary one.

I've gotten used to him being on the phone, working out problems, while we're on vacation. So when I'm hanging out getting a tan, he's talking shop, solving problems, and making decisions over the phone. He's always working. So if I can get him off on a motorcycle ride, or a trip somewhere, I kinda think he deserves it.

We've been foster parents and have been in situations that we would have never imagined we'd be in. We've helped kids that could be helped, and provided a safe place for those that, unfortunately, couldn't be helped. We've given a lot back to our community, in one way or another, and will continue to do so.

I'm also willing to bet that you haven't had to deal with a stalker, waited and watched as your grandson died. I bet you don't have a daughter that's had around 15 emergency, life saving surgeries, and had two grand kids born 3 months early each. And I bet you don't have a son that was hit by a car and left for dead. A passerby found him and he was life flighted to Emanuel. And I bet that none of the things I can't speak of in public have happened to you.

So, yeah, if you're talking smack, it does get back to me. I know who you are and what you've said, or implied. I guess all I can really say is I'm sorry you feel you have to attack, or smear, my family's lifestyle. You don't have the full story, and you probably never will. So be careful making assumptions, they can come back to haunt you.  And let's hope that you never have to watch as your husband shovels freshly turned earth onto your grand son's grave.

Now, let's forget this garbage and get back to our usual programming!