The Journey

As I laid sleeping in bed yesterday morning, buried beneath fluffy down comforters and my head between pillows of the same, my slumber was interrupted by a voice. I struggled to pull myself from a deep state of sleep attempting to comprehend, not only the voice I was hearing, but the words that were being spoken at such an early hour.

As I turned, and adjusted the pillows, I recognized a soothing voice from the past and as I realized the words being spoken had been written centuries ago my spirit calmed. It seemed as if I snuggled into my cocoon more deeply and a peace fell over me as I listened to the words of the first chapter of Ephesians being read aloud by a man I fell in love with 29 years ago.

So strange is the journey of life with it's twists and turns, peaks and valleys, that to think of trying to convey to another the tale of how the best friend I have ever had and I went through glorious, unforgettable times, into the pits of hell, only to return to each other with a deepened respect, much more wise, and the realizations we have both come to understand, is daunting to say the least.

I am, as is he, still attempting to come to grips with the fact that our last few years have brought us so much closer than could have ever before been imagined. I get the fact that many people only know my side of the story, or his side of the story, and are unwilling to even accept the fact that this is our journey, not theirs, and that we have both acknowledged our individual actions that caused the other to unravel.

Most are well meaning, but ignorant, a few are down right mean spirited and spiteful. When  people see only the suffering of one, they naturally side with the one they have witnessed first hand. What few understand is that the other suffered as well. The people that witnessed the after math with me are skeptical, as are the ones that witnessed the aftermath with him. When everything is put on a scale the weight of pain is pretty much equal.

The last several years we were both put into situations that forced us to learn how to be alone. We were able to step away from the fire and see which matches we each lit, and how we ignited the destruction of the other.

When that happened the door to the future could be opened. What began as a deal to save our family home has only proven we were only apart to learn what we needed to learn so that we could come back bigger and better than before.

Yesterday I had a several hour tattoo session with a man we are both honored to call out friend. We've known him for at least a decade. He knew us before the spiral, he knew us. He has no agenda, as many appear to. It was good. He and I were alone for the 3 hour session and were able to really talk.

It was awesome to hear his genuine, honest, thoughts on the situation at hand. He saw it coming, he knew everything, yet he loves us both. He said we needed time apart to regroup, that he knew we always belonged together. He reiterated several times how happy he was that we were back, how he saw how happy we both are and we were meant to be, "just like in the beginning." I was amazed at his ability to stand before me knowing the total, and complete truth, and tell me we were made for each other.

Mind you, this is a man that knows both sides and is wise enough to basically say, "forgot those other people. They have no clue." He is also one that saw me at my lowest. He said, "Teri, this is a new chapter. People can get on board or they can get the f^@k out of your lives. This is your life, not theirs, and they need to mind their own business. The past is past. If they can't get over it, it's their problem not yours."

My friend, if you should happen to read this, know that you are, with out a doubt, one of the very few, perhaps the only, that was wise enough to allow us to be complete and total idiots, and truly be happy we are now one again. You see the big picture, and we love you for that.

xoxo