Theories, Poodles And Slang

I've had nothing, absolutely nothing to say for about a week now. I know what you're thinking....."What the hell is she smokin' to have nothing to say."

Well it's true. I guess the change in medications has me off a bit. Writing has been a "want to but cant."

I was sitting around with the kids tonight asking them to give me topics. I was hoping one of their topics would interest me.

Nothing really jumped out so I'm just going to give you all of them.

Coins. I've bought 16 silver quarters. Not just any quarters but huge, 5 oz. quarters. There are five in a set and they commemorate five national parks. See, the thing is that only so many of these huge-ass quarters were made and collectors want them like mad. I sat around totally obsessed with getting these quarters. You had to buy online at a certain time. It took forever, but I finally got 16 of them. So I have them in for grading now and will sell them to collectors on eBay, hopefully making a nice profit.

Another topic that was thrown at me was my standard poodle with an attitude. Seriously, the dog will stare you down. She completely freaks me out. It's like she's doing the canine version of the Vulcan mind meld. Totally creepy.

Then my liberal (breathe Teri, breathe) son wants me to write about conspiracy theories of course. All I can say on that is no pics, no video, Wag The Dog, ratings boost and all that shit.

Next on the list was text slang. U no the sht kds use. I've told my kids that if I EVER see them texting in text slang I'll take their freaking phones. Same goes with Facebook. Their status updates damn well be in English and not in textlish. I am the keeper of their FB accounts and phones. I have total control. I am Mom the Dictator.

Now for Sara, my pregnant daughter in law. She is obsessed with baked potatoes and apple pie. Three potatoes today and now more pie. We have 6 more months of this. Oh, did I mention that she lives with me? So I have six more months of this.

We did a gender predictor test the other day. Basically you pee in this cup that contains this glitter looking concoction. You swirl it around and around to mix it. Then you wait for it to change colors. We got green. Green means boy. They say it's right 50% of the time.

Oh yeah, the baby, my 14th grandchild, is due on Thanksgiving. Of all FREAKING days to be due! I guess it could be worse, but not much. I planned on eating, a lot, that day. Now I'll probably be gnawing on a turkey leg while telling Sara to push between bites.

That's it, that's all I have.