I Knew She Would Die

As soon as I saw her I knew she would die. She had just been cut from my daughter's belly and was barely 2 pounds. In an effort to save the baby and my daughter the decision had been made to take the tiny girl child from what she had known as a safe place and bring her into the world of tubes, ventilators and doctors.

My daughter, Karli, had been having contractions since she was 12 weeks pregnant. She was on a first name basis with the Emergency Department and had the best specialists in the Northwest caring for her. The pregnancy was terrible and marred with bleeding, hospital visits, shots, specialists and fear.

She was only 26 weeks pregnant when Anna-Grace was taken. I remember watching the doctors and nurses try to put the ventilator into the tiny angel. She was so still, so purple, so lifeless. The tears that stained my face were tears of losing another grandchild, tears of grief, tears of a sadness I'd hoped no one else would ever feel.

The doctor that delivered her had prepared us for her imminent death and there was no joy on his face as he quickly cut the baby from my baby.

That was three years ago tomorrow, April 12. Anna-Grace surprised everyone. She was a fighter, she was a Diva, she was going to make it.

Karli seeing her baby for the first time

Holding Nana's hand

Wearing her preemie hat

Uncle Michael holding her on her first day home

Getting bigger

Then when she was 8 months old she was diagnosed with heart failure and was scheduled for an immediate surgery to repair her failing heart. Once again we prepared to lose her.

Preparing for surgery

Right after surgery

Baby Diva toes

She survived. She thrived. She kicked ass.

Today she's on the growth chart. She's only about 40%, but she's ON the chart. Before surgery she was no where close to being on the chart, we thought she was dying. She had other plans.

Today we have a hellacious, spirited, baby Diva. She throws fits, she screeches, she whines and she demands fingernail polish. But we have her.

Here are a few more pictures celebrating the spirit and fight of my granddaughter.

Big brother Jakob

First pedicure with Nana

With cousin Madeleine

Just last week. Look at the smile. The smile of a survivor.

Happy third birthday Anna-Grace Elizabeth. Your Nana loves you.