I'm Uncomfortable With That

I'm going to give you a little personal background before I get to the point. I have eight kids. Six of my kids are adopted. Of those six kids only one is white. All of the other kids are black, or black and white.

When we went to adopt for the third time, we were adopting a beautiful, ebony skinned, six year old girl through the State of Washington. The state suggested we attend diversity training, our black friends suggested we didn't.

Since Nikki's adoption could have been on the line we attended. It was taught by radical social workers that seemed to feel it was their duty to let the white parents in the room know they were dooming the children they were adopting to hell.

I thought it funny at the time that all of the people in attendance, that were adopting, were white. All of the children being adopted were black. We were told to expose the kids to "black culture," "black food," "the black lifestyle." We were told that "African-Americans" and "European-Americans" were fundamentally different.

When a lone parent had the courage to ask why there were only white people in the class the instructor got in a huff. Her exact terse words were "It's not in our culture to adopt. European-Americans adopt." So why in the hell was she berating the parents that did want to adopt kids that needed parents to love them?

After she ranted on the vast differences between "African-Americans" and "European-Americans" for several more minutes, the same courageous parent from earlier politely said he wasn't "European-American," he was white. That's when she really got aggressive with her "diversity training."

I left the meeting in tears, my husband was pissed. That night we spoke with some friends, black friends. I asked them what "black culture" was. Mike looked at me like I was an alien. Then he asked, "Have you been talking to social workers?"

"Yes, we attended a diversity training class so that we could adopt Nikki."

"Teri, forget everything they told you. I grew up eating at McDonald's just like you did, I went to 7-11 and shopped at Safeway. I suppose they told you to give her ribs too?"

"Yes they told us to make sure to feed the kids ribs, chicken, greens and pork chops. When they said that, I thought it sounded a little stereotypical."

"Teri, those people only have one thing in mind and that is to continue segregation."

"Mike, the trainers were all black."

"I assumed so."

I was feeling better after our talk, and his encouragement. I spoke to other friends. They told us the same thing. Something else each of our friends mentioned was to ensure that our children knew they were American.

We followed the advice of our friends, after all they lived the life and had no agenda. Our kids know that they are first a child of God, then an American and then a member of our family.

A couple of years ago my daughter, Nikki, was at a friend's house. The parents had friends over and when Nikki walked into the room the mother introduced Nikki, not as her daughter's friend, but as her daughter's "African-American" friend. Let's see, what if I was being introduced? Would she have introduced me as her "European-American" friend? I don't think so.

My daughter said, "I am NOT African-American! I've never been to Africa and I never plan to go to Africa. I prefer that you don't disrespect my pride in being an American by hyphenating my heritage."

The mother sat there speechless for a few seconds before she said, "I'm just not comfortable with calling you that."

WHAT? My daughter wants to be called American and you're not comfortable with calling her that? What kind of Kool-Aid have you been drinking?

With that little revelation Nikki gathered her belongings and left their home.

Before you all jump on the "evil white parents indoctrinating their black children" bandwagon, you have to know that our kids are well-rounded. They've been taught history, ALL history, not just the type you read in school these days. They have friends of varying backgrounds, they've been exposed to the world, not just one small section of it, and they are comfortable with who they are.

I took the long way around to bring you to this. I was at the pediatrician's office Friday and saw this print hanging on the wall.

I realize that many of your opinions regarding this print will vary from mine. Many of you would have never thought anything of it and there's nothing wrong with that. I'm on the other side of the fence. I've had people try to shove my kids into a box for 20 years.

I think that the radical social workers would be proud. My kids were offended. To me this screams "stereotype" and continued segregation. How are people supposed to get along if there are those that continually find a way to put a wedge in race relations? Uh, tell me that Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton, tell me that.

By the way, that stereotypical list of "black" foods on the menu are all culturally southern foods, not African foods. That's what I ate while I was growing up and I still do. All of my kids eat those foods, even (GASP) my white kids.

Stop trying to keep my kids at the back of the bus!

So that's my second rant in two days. I should be good for several months, unless someone pisses me off before then.

Kisses to you all,