Herding Cats

Most of you know I’ve raised 8 kids and have had numerous foster kids. You’d think that having three of my grandkids for several days would be no big deal right? That would be a big fat HA!

I’m here to tell you that it’s like herding cats and at 48 I’m too damn old to herd cats.

Anna-Grace is 2. That means there are a lot of words that don’t mean “yes” she loves to spit out at full volume. The kid is adorable with her halo of dark brown curls and ever present smile. It’s a damn good thing because I would have posted her on Craigslist by now.

Josiah is 4 and that means he likes to ask LOTS of questions, fight with his sister and refuse to take naps.

Jakob is 10 and is usually a lot of help. Without him I would bought a one way ticket to Brazil and said “hasta la vista” to the entire bunch.

Today I must not have taken my anti-psychotics. That’s the only thing I can think of. I had to have been in a full blown psychotic state to even consider taking all three kids to Starbucks and then to the mall.

The morning started off with me trying to find the right car seat for Anna-Grace. It's not as if we only have one car seat like normal families, we have a bazillion. That alone took around 45 minutes to find one and secure the freaking thing into my car. Then I had to look through every car we own to find Josiah’s booster seat. Finally we get packed into my car and it’s “stop kicking the back of my seat, let go of your sister’s hair, quit poking your brother’s eye with Barbies feet!”

We made it to Starbucks and it took 20 minutes to get the kids out of the car. Starbucks was ok, meaning we made it out with minimal damage. Then for the psychotic part, I drove to the mall.

Half way through our escapade Jakob looked at me and said “You’re too old for this aren’t you?” Don’t even ask what the hand-shaped red mark is on his face. It’s a birthmark I tell you!

Now we’re home. Demon-monkey girl is sleeping, howling-hyena boy is playing with his sister’s Barbies and Jake is playing his gameboy.

Me? Well I’m sitting here with a half empty bottle of Tanqueray waiting for their grandfather to get home and take over.

Jake was right. I am too old for this.

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