"MOM! DON'T LOOK!!"

Last night about 11 or so I decided I was a bit hungry. Jeff and I had gone out with some friends and I couldn't bring myself to eat. We brought home most of my dinner. I began thinking about that box in the refrigerator marked "MOM'S! TOUCH AND YOU WILL DIE!"

I got out of bed, turned on the hall light and walked right into a gaggle of giggling geese and a living room, dining room and kitchen filled with pink and black balloons and completely covered with pink streamers.

The giggles suddenly turned to screeches.

"MOM! DON'T LOOK! COVER YOUR EYES!"

You see today is the 2nd anniversary of my 29th birthday. The kids were cleaning the house and blowing up balloons for me.

"How sweet", I thought as I grabbed a rib or two and went back into my bedroom. I drifted away to dreamland thinking how lucky I am to have such wonderful, caring kids.

This morning I got up to find a crystal vase of beautiful roses and smiling faces wishing me a wonderful birthday. "Awwwww", I thought again as I grabbed my keys to get my morning habit underway. I had to get to Starbucks. I had to get coffee.

Down the stairs and into the garage I floated on the wishes of my darlings. I opened the door and saw it. My car was covered with paint. "Ok, breathe" was running through my mind. I forced the smile to stay on my face as the mischievous minions were beaming up at me. I scanned the car for tape or window paint on the paint of my car. None. Whew! Good kids.

Well, they were good kids until I noticed that the front seats were overflowing with balloons. It was at that moment I almost cracked. Balloon filled car means I can't get in which means I can't get to Starbucks which means I can't get my COFFEE!

"It was Karli's idea Mom."

"It was all Karli!"

"Mom, you can just push the balloons into the back seat."

In my decaffeinated state I hadn't thought of that. I could breathe again. I was going to be able to get my morning fix. I pushed as many balloons as I could into the back so that I could squeeze in.

I backed into the driveway, got out and had to get pictures. I had to get pictures of the love and devotion my babies have for their mommy. They are truly awesome and I can't imagine my life without them.

I drove to Starbucks proudly displaying the love of my kids.

I'm one very lucky mom.

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Friday Follow?

Ok, so maybe I'm being terribly blonde, or maybe had one to many ambien last night, but I'm having a difficult time figuring this out. any suggestions?

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Bipolar? Diva? What? That's Just Crazy!

Bipolar. Diva.

At first glance those two words seem to have no logical connection. Well at least to a non-crazy, non-Diva like person. At dinner the other night my husband posed the question:


“Why Bipolar Diva?” He had that look on his face, the one I've come to realize means he thinks I'm crazy. Well, I am.

My bipolar thought “What the hell are you talking about? I am a Diva!” Now that would be the bipolar symptom of “Unrealistic, grandiose beliefs about one’s abilities or powers.”

My Diva thought “I make bipolar look good! Now pour me another glass of champagne and I’ll take a little more butter on that roll please. I don’t want to chance chipping my freshly manicured nails.” This would match one of the Urban Dictionary’s definitions: “A girl or woman with an exaggerated sense of self-importance, requiring a great deal of attention and excessive effort to maintain beauty, style and image.”


Pretty much the same theme going on there I think. It got me wondering just how alike the two words, the two parts of my personality, are. I mean, in my mind, they’re pretty damned identical. But to the ordinary human it may need some explaining.


I think my shopping addiction can wrap up several similarities in one fell swoop: (Shopping addiction, yet another symptom of both bipolar-ness and Diva-ness)

Bipolar: Talking so rapidly that others can’t keep up, racing thoughts, jumping quickly from one idea to the next.

Diva: “I’ll take these. Wait, maybe those. No, no, what about the sparkly ones? Oh, and I need lingerie to match, and shoes.”

Bipolar: Impaired judgment, and impulsiveness. Acting recklessly without thinking of the consequences.

Diva: “What the heck? I’ll take them all! What? There’s no room left on that credit card? Here, take two more. After all I have to have to have those Chanel sunglasses and the Manolos to keep up my polished Happy Valley Mom image.”

Bipolar: Feeling unusually “high” and optimistic OR extremely irritable.

Diva: “Can you please have someone carry all 19 of these beautiful, wonderfully filled shopping bags to my car?” “What do you mean I’ll have to wait a half hour for that? I want someone and I want them NOW!”

Bipolar: depression

Diva: “I have absolutely nothing to wear. All that shopping for nothing! I’m going to bed for a day or two. Bring me an aspirin and a Xanex.”

See? It all makes perfect sense to me. The two are intertwined, at least in my justifying, bipolar mind. I’m really not trying to make light of Bipolar Disorder. It can be a devastating force in many of the lives of those that are affected.

I’m one of the fortunate ones; my condition is mild for the most part. Bipolar is what makes me who I am. I’m usually on the high and optimistic end of the spectrum, but the lows are all too low and extremely dark. I tend to try to write through those times. You can find a few of those writings here: Unorthodox, Calm, Sea Turtles, Not So Good. I isolate myself from everything and everyone during those dark days. You can find out more about Bipolar Disorder in this book The Bipolar Disorder Survival Guide.

I was diagnosed in 2008. I’ve worked though a lot and am finally on what we believe to be the correct pharmaceutical cocktail for me. I’m determined to take control of my situation and not let it control me. That's why I wrote The Stronger Force.

There's one more Urban Dictionary definition of Diva fits here pretty well I think: “A woman who appreciates everything achieved in life's past knowing that it only adds to who they will become in life's future.”

Now where’s my credit card? I have some online shopping to do!

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Ten Really Bad Things.....

that didn't happen today:

1. No cars were damaged in the course of my newly licensed drivers making their way around town.
2. Two Splendas were not put in my latte this morning, I hate it when that happens!
3. My husband didn't go off on the OSHA inspectors.
4. Josiah didn't pee in the fish tank and kill the fish AGAIN!
5. My only son in the public school system didn't get suspended.
6. I didn't find any of my kids on Mugshotlist.com.
7. I didn't get a 4 A.M. phone call.
8. No one stole my underwear (long story, maybe I'll tell it sometime).
9. No money was missing from my wallet when I woke up.
10. None of my pack of wolves beautiful children were injured by an object thrown by another rabid wolf wonderful child.

All in all I have to say that it was a good day.

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List For Today

 

Maybe I should reconsider that last one?

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Maybe One Day

Is it some weird symptom of bipolar not being able to find a template I like?

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Lessons

Never ask a mechanic “what are you trying to fix?”

Never wake up a parent after they have just eaten an apple

Never put a screwdriver in your back pocket and sit in the car

Do it right the first time

A 1963 Austin Healy is one hot car


How to hold a cup of coffee while riding in an Austin Healy

When someone says hold on, you better hold on

Always wear a helmet while riding motorcycles

It’s a thin line between a hero and an asshole

Never pass up a chance for a practical joke

You control the car, don’t let the car control you

All squeaks in a car will be killed

It’s ok to ask for a straw when eating oysters

If a cat crawls up under the car never use two people to get it out

Always leave people asking themselves "did that really happen ?"

Have respect for everyone and their property

If you borrow something, return it in better condition than it was in


Cats don’t like to parachute from the top of the barn


Never put a clothes pin on a cat's tail
 

It's not a blinker, it's a turn signal


Willie Nelson is cool


Respect everyone except for the purposely stupid or arrogant


Ponies can never be trusted


Cockroaches are Satan in bug form


If a junebug gets in your ear, hold a flashlight up to your ear canal and the bug will painfully claw his way out, but hey....he's out


It's "Hey!" NOT "Hay!"


Texas is a state of mind as is New Orleans


Oysters are fantastic!


How to shoot the legs off of a wasp with a pellet gun


How to get the wasp to be still long enough to shoot his legs off


Never strike a match near a haystack that your grandfather is standing on


If you have to share a bottle of soda with your brother, give him the top half, the bottom half has more


Road trips are a blast


Oreos and beer do not mix well digestively


Escargot feels like a cat's tongue


Never speak when a parent is on the phone, or breathe for that matter


You can set a house on fire by trying to make a hot air balloon with a blow torch and a black trash bag


You're only as good as your dog thinks you are


Fishing is not as much about catching as it is about catching up


Modulators always should be put on the head and tail lights of a motorcycle


A rolled up magazine works well as a splint in an emergency


Family is defined by those you love, not by blood


Cat hair sticks to your tongue


My dad did not like cats and liked messing with the kids


You can make a toy out of anything


Never ask a horse, "Why such a long face?"


So I said to this emu......


How to change the oil in my car


That he loved me


Learn to judge your parents' moods


Don't listen when he tells you to pinch your naked aunt


You can be more scary and unsettling by being quiet than by screaming


A great punishment will give the parents a weed-free yard


A good parent will listen


If you ever put a cat in a bag, don't let go


Do, don't try


That he loved my grandson enough to trade his life for Josiah's


And that we loved him more than he ever knew.

Compiled from lists from his kids.

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